Rebuild and Retry

"A winner is just a loser who tried one more time." - George M. Moore Jr.

 Song Recommendation Based On Blog Post:

Try Everything ~ Shakira


(If you know where this song is from . . . Don't judge - it's an underrated movie and this is a good song!
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Talking To The Universe

"You know? That doesn't really look like you working through your to-do list to me?" they questioned, looking over at her.
In response she just pulled her blankets up higher and burrowed down further into the nest she had made for herself.
"You said that you wanted to retry working on your project today?" They further questioned.
"I would but all of that," she pulls her hand out from under the comfort of her blankets, gesturing in front of her, "Is immensely worse than me staying, warm and comfortable, in here."
They sat down next to her, understanding where she was coming from and said, "But maybe it won't be like that today?"
She scoffed, "Yeah, and today might be the day that pigs fly and money finally grows on trees." She made a point to turn over so her back was facing them, wanting the conversation to be over with so that she can stay in the mindset that she was right. That staying where she was, comfortable and in an okay headspace, was better for her than trying and having the possibility of getting upset by potentially not being able to do everything that she expected and wanted herself to do.
It's better to not try and be on safe ground, then to try and mess up, she thought to herself.
"You always have the power to try again," they tried to comfort her.
In response, she turned to look at them with a scowl on her face.
They threw their hands up in defence, "Okay, okay, or not . . ." They put their hands down and she turned back away from them.
They breathed out, knowing that pushing someone to do something they feel adamant not doing is only going to keep them stuck where they are, refusing to be helped. The best way to approach trying to help someone when they feel stuck and who do need pushing, isn't to actually "push" them but sometimes instead to try and engage their critical thinking, to get them to question and wonder whether what they think they know is actually right. Have you ever felt somewhat confident that you thought you knew something until someone started asking you questions and you realise what you thought you knew and were right about wasn't the case but you just didn’t want to admit it?

They gently looked over at the tired, mentally and emotionally drawn person, wanting to help her and asked, "So what's gotten you so worried that you decided to try and bury yourself in a blanket cocoon?"
She sighed and turned to lay on her back, knowing they wouldn't let up and started listing off on her fingers, "It won't turn out as good as in my head; something else could happen before I even get to it, taking all of my energy and want to do it out the window; something bad could happen beforehand and make me not feel up to start the project, and lastly, maybe it just won't be good enough so what's the point in trying?"
"But if you don't try, though, you'll never know."
She rolled her eyes and lightly shook her head, smiling, "That's so cheesy."
They softly laughed and shrugged, "What did you expect?"
Her smile disappeared, a thoughtful, almost heartbroken look came across her face instead.
"And . . ." She trailed off.
"And . . ." They encouraged.
She let out another sigh knowing she had to admit the main truth as to why she felt it was safer to stay where she was and not bother trying to push forward and get what she would like to get done, "And who cares? No one. No one will care about what I create, with what I share so why bother? Why get my hopes up just for them to get let down and feel disheartened? I'd much rather stay here, comfy and in the delusional state that, 'I'll get round to it,' when I'm honestly starting to worry that I never will," she looked down, "If I try, then I have to actually try and I do that every day so what makes this day any different than the rest? What makes this day the one where something will pay off for me?" She asked.
They didn't respond.
"Exactly," she said.
They thought about it, understanding where she was coming from, the anxiety, the fears, the 'what if's?', the 'what's the points?' . . . But they knew that no one made anything by not making, by not even trying.
"If you think about it though, the only way you know that those days didn't go the way you wanted them too was because you tried," they started to say, "You woke up, looked at the day ahead of you, knowing that you were in pain but you still decided to get up, to try, and then the next day? You retried. And the day after? You tried again, and again. And I know that all of those tries are weighing on you now, I understand that. So stay there, if that's what you need to recharge, stay in your blanket nest, rest, recuperate and then try again."
She looked over at them.
They continued, "Each day you wake up is a day closer to when everything will hopefully start to feel better again, you know that. I know you know that. And you've got the art, the magic, the passion in you, always, whether you feel it or not, whether you feel like you're able to do something or to create or not. People are so quick to determine whether they should do something or not based off of whether someone will see it or how many people will see it? Will it get enough attention? Enough views? Enough reads?"
She looked down at the blankets that were curled around her.
They carried on, "But the views don't always matter, yes, they're nice to see, it would be a lie to say otherwise - it's nice to see that someone cares and is taking the time and energy to see what we've created but the worth of that creation isn't dependent on that attention. Do you enjoy it? Do you like it? Do you enjoy what you've created? Then do it. If you don't? Then take another look at it, is there something you can do to rebuild and change it to enjoy it again? Can you tweak it to improve it? And that's improving it by your standards, not the standards you put on yourself from the perception of others. And if not, if you don't like doing or creating it anymore, then that's okay! It's okay to say that. It's also okay to let it go. But you've got to try first for you to know whether it's fine as it is and maybe that it's your perception of it that needs to be changed and rebuilt, or if it itself needs working on, or even if it's gotten to its final place and it, and you, are done with it . . .  But try first. For yourself, for your art, just try. It's always worth it if you like something and if it's not causing harm to others, what could really be wrong with it?"
She looked back up and stared ahead of her, wondering if she had it in her to create again. Thinking back to what they just said, she started wondering if she can rebuild and better her perception of her art, to actually retry at creating something that she enjoys. Or will it always be knocked down by life and the other hurdles that come her way before she even gets the chance to do something? How can she rebuild something when she's not sure what could happen?
She glanced over at them, "What if I can't do it? What if I can't handle it and the idea of what I want it to be isn't what I see in front of me?"
They thought for a moment, wondering how some people can be filled with so much anxiety and fear that they can miss their own potential that's in front of them if they were to only see it from another perspective. Consider how many times you've gone to do something or wanted to do something but felt apprehensive and struggled with it but then when you actually get to it and complete it, you realise that what was really bothering you was the lead up to the task itself and whilst in that worried state, overthinking all of the possible things that could go wrong, what could happen, you ended up talking yourself out of doing what you wanted or needed to do in the first place. You ended up getting yourself stuck in that hole of thinking, "What's the point?" "It's not going to happen." "It's not going to work out."
They caught her eye and gently said, "That fear and worry is always going to be there. There is not very much I can do or say that can completely change and get rid of that anxiety, and for that I'm sorry," they leant forward and touched her arm, "I will ask you this though . . . Is that how you really want to go through life? Not putting yourself out there or reducing your want for something because of the fear you have inside you? Because that will always be there. There's no way around that but you are the deciding factor. You are what makes the difference between trying and giving up. Between wanting and doing. Between holding yourself back and pushing yourself to achieve. You are worth incredible things because you are an incredible being just for even trying, and then retrying."
They took their hand off her arm and sat up straight.
"As long as you try then that's all that can be asked of you. Truly. The expectations you have of yourself or others are yours alone, they're in your head, but when you try, that's what counts and means something way more than the expectations you have for yourself."
She sat there, taking in what they said and a look came across her face. She started to come back to her usual self, to come around and look more alert and restated, "As long as I enjoy it, that's what counts. Like you said, I can always play around with it, think it over, mix it up, rebuild it, and try again until it ticks that box in my brain of what I want it to be."
They smiled at her in response.
And despite still feeling apprehensive, she unfurled herself from the safety of her blankets, and got up.
"This could still suck, you know?" She questioned.
"It's worth a shot, though," they replied.
She smiled and moved forward, to face the day and to try again.


©️ Hey Universe, Did You Forget About Me?, 2024. All Rights Reserved.
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Don't be afraid to accept and admit that something isn't going the way you want. It's okay! Don't be put off to try and change it up. It's incredibly brave! Whether it's with your job, degree, boundaries, a project, a side hustle, loving yourself, never be afraid to try again if something doesn't or isn't going the way you want it to. If you've been reading along with this blog for a while you know that I'm always saying this but it's so important to remember: rest and wallow when you feel like you need to, but then get back up and push forward. You've got this. You're going to be okay. Just try again.

You're not alone in wanting to retry something, in feeling disheartened that something didn't happen or turn out the way you hoped or wanted it to be. I'm there with you. If you follow me on Instagram then you know I revealed that I'm redoing my blog. I'm rebuilding and retrying with what I write and do with this space. I want it to grow, I want it be better for me, which is why I've started the new segment, "Talking To The Universe". I wanted to get more creative and try something new with my writing. With this blog, I felt like I was in a rut so I've played with it, like suggested in the story, and started doing something different and I'm really enjoying it! I hope you've enjoyed reading it! And if you've got any topics or storylines you would like me to do, then comment them below or message me on my socials!
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So rebuild and retry, give yourself the opportunity to try something new or try and do something a different way, to retry - get creative, don't limit yourself to the expectations in your head or from others. Do it for you if it's what you really want, you can do this! Otherwise it's easy to get caught up feeling lost, feeling like, "Hey Universe, Did You Forget About Me?"

Thank you so much for reading!
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Please feel free to comment, share, and follow me on my socials below!
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All the best!
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Emily
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TikTok: @emily_heyuniverse

©️ Hey Universe, Did You Forget About Me?, 2024, all rights reserved.

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