"I learned a long time ago the wisest thing I can do is be on my own side." - Maya Angelou
Dear The Unloved Part Of Me,
Happy Valentine's Day.
I bet you didn't expect to hear that from me and I'll be honest, I didn't think
I would ever get to a place where I would say that to you either.
Valentine's Day is the time where we're reminded to show the ones we love that
we, well, love them. And though myself and others may argue that Valentine's is
just another day and going out of your way to show your love for someone is
something that should be showed and said throughout the year, you, yourself,
still never experience that affection no matter what day it is. And for that,
I'm sorry. I hid you away, I ignored you, hated you, hurt you, and at times
were even disgusted by you, but you never stopped, you continued on.
The relationship we have with ourselves can be split into so many different
sections. There's the relationship with who we are as a person, our
personality, likes, dislikes, hobbies. There's the relationship with our
brains, the way we think, how we think, any health issues and different wiring
or structures that are there. And then there's the relationship with our bodies
. . . What we look like, feel like, sound like, smell like, you name it, we
critique it. And that's the most unloved part of me. That's who
this letter is for this Valentine's Day, this day where we show up and express
love to those we care for. And I do care about you, I'm just sorry it's
taken me so long to get there.
My body, you are the longest relationship I've had, and the longest
relationship I'll ever have. You've been there with me and for me. You
grew with me and kept me alive and safe, appreciation for which you don't get
enough of. You get taken for granted and it isn't until life comes along and/or
health challenges happen did it make me stop and really look at myself and my
relationship with you, with me. Throughout my life, I pushed you aside,
not thought about you, in an "out of sight, out of mind" way, you
were a separate factor altogether in who I was. And yet, you continued to be
there, to keep me safe, continued to grow alongside me even when I wasn't, or
couldn't, be there for you. Thank you for sticking with me.
Our relationship with one another has not been the easiest or kindest,
something I wish I could blame the both of us for, where I've not been kind to
you and you have not been kind to me but that's not true. I was mean to you, I
treated you harshly, I didn't love or appreciate you. I'm the one who needed to
grow, to learn how to love you. There have been toxic cycles in our
relationship where I would push you to our shared extremes and you would push
back by refusing to move, refusing to cooperate and God, did I hate you for
that. I know now, your refusal of doing what I wanted was not because you hated
me and didn't care if you worked or not but because you knew we weren't mean to
be pushed that far, with that much force, not without a break. So you stopped
the only way you knew how . . . You started breaking down, you needed more and
longer rests which I'm sad to say I didn't used to give to you (to us), I would
hate you into submission instead. Now I know and appreciate the signals you
give me, to rest, to eat, to drink, to keep going, and now I listen and look
after you, me, better. I'll mend this gap in our relationship and love
me, all of me. You didn't ask to be treated badly or forgotten, you were
simply there, and you always will be and for that, I will always try my best to
love you.
The one
always true constant, is you. You will be there with us even when we
don't acknowledge or appreciate it.
So, thank you. Thank you for always keeping me going (even when I didn't want
you too). Thank you for growing with me. Thank you for keeping me safe. Thank
you for allowing me to experience life. Thank you for allowing me to hug my
Mum. Thank you for allowing me to play with my niece. Thank you for continuing
to fight on no matter how hard life got. You have been through hell, and I'm
getting you back one burning step at a time.
I love you and I'm going to try my best to show it to you because you (I)
are worth it. If you're hungry, I'll feed you. If you're tired, I'll let you
rest. If you need to be pushed, I will push you. And on the days where I don't
hold you in high regards, I'll let you be, I won't allow you to be brought down
to your knees. So I will lay my hands gently on you, knowing you and I both
deserve the love we need.
So this is to you, the unloved, a love letter to show that I'm trying and I
love you, I'm learning to love you. I'm going to look after you and care
for you because I know you (and I) deserve it. Without love, of any kind, it's
easy to feel like, "Hey Universe, Did You Forget About Me?"
Happy Valentine's Day. ❤️
All my love, from,
Emily
X
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much for reading! And however you're spending it, Happy
Valentine's Day! ❤️
Please feel free to comment, share, and follow me on my socials below! 💜🌌
All the best! 💜
Emily 🌌
(P.S. If you would like to read more about self-love and how to, realistically,
acknowledge and learn how to love yourself, then read one of my previous blog
posts, "Why Don't You Love You?"! 💜)
FOLLOW ME ON:
Instagram: @heyuniverseblog
TikTok: @emily_heyuniverse
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Hey Universe, Did You Forget About Me?, 2024, all rights reserved.
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