2024, Let's Party Some More!

"Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we'll ever do." - Brené Brown

3 . . .
2 . . .
1 . . .

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

*Tyres screech outside, car doors slam shut, the sound of feet running toward the house.*

*Suddenly the lights shut off!*

*There's a crash as the front door is kicked in, then from around the corner comes . . . *

ME! Because screw the new year, there's something else more worth celebrating and that's the 1 year anniversary of, "Hey Universe, Did You Forget About Me?" 🎉🎉

HIT IT!!

🎶 "Celebrate good times, come on!" 🎶

🎶 It's a celebration! 🎶

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO "HEY UNIVERSE, DID YOU FORGET ABOUT ME?"!!! 🎉🎉🎉🥂🥂🥂💜💜💜

Omg, I seriously, seriously cannot believe that a year ago today, I uploaded my first blog post! Whhhhaaaatttt???? And now a year later, I'm still writing, still loving it, and I'm enjoying seeing you read along! I've somehow also got over 200 followers on Instagram which is great! So thank you so much! Thank you so much for following along, for reading the blog, for following me over on Instagram (and if you haven't yet, there's no time like the present to do so! It's tagged below! 💜), and just for allowing me to create and have a space to heal, recover, and share and talk about what's on my mind. It has helped me so much to be able to write and feel like I'm making a connection with anyone who may read it.

I swear I was uploading my first blog post yesterday and now I'm here on my 32nd post and I've had a full year of being online! It's insane and I'm enjoying it so much! Younger Emily would absolutely have her mind blown to know that she's actually writing and sharing it for others to enjoy and, hopefully, help. I know current Emily is! 😱💜

So happy anniversary to this blog and to anyone who is reading this! Let's party! 🎉💃🏼

And I guess we have to acknowledge the other holiday in the room, yes, it's the new year! Happy New Year! 🎉🥂 We made it, we're here, we kicked 2023's backside! Go us, we rock! 🙌😂 I hope you all had an amazing Christmas and holiday season and a great New Year! Has anyone still got any chocolates and stuff left? I'm so proud of myself, I still have an unopened pack of chocolates AND a bottle of Bailey's that I haven't touched . . . Then again, maybe by the time I've posted this, it might be a completely different story . . . 😬😂 (I'll leave a note at the end and let you know if by the time I'm doing my final edits and posting if they're both still unopened! 😂)

Last year for New Years, I wrote about what it means to "start as you mean to go on" and how that concept, despite it at times being helpful, isn't always realistic. I mean, I suffer from OCD and some days are so much worse than others, and celebrating the new year last year, I had a bad start. I had anxiety attacks and was getting stuck in doing my compulsions repeatedly, what a way to start my year, right? 😂 I wrote about how it's okay not to have had a good start to the year, it doesn't mean that everything else is doomed and I still stand by that! So remember, if your new year started off badly or went wrong, that's okay! It doesn't mean anything. It's not a sign that the rest of the year is going to be bad or be a flop. The quality of the year isn't determined by how you welcome it in. Last year, I welcomed the year by having anxiety attacks, struggling to shower, and couldn't hug my Mum. This year? I'm doing ALL of that! (Hopefully minus the anxiety attacks but hey, if they come up? They come up. And I'll patiently deal with them.) This year I'm starting off on a stronger, more positive, and confident note, and like I said in my previous blog post, "It's Okay To Not Be Okay This Christmas," for the first time ever I'm genuinely excited for the new year and what it may bring! I've already got plans in place which is something I don't often do because I normally hold little to no hope for the new year. Of course, my main priority is myself and my recovery! I'm starting the new year off strong by doing new and more exposure tasks, and changing the habitual behaviours I do to appease the OCD, so that I'm getting more of my life back. I'm also doing more things for myself that helps me to gain more independence and hopefully helps, not only me, but my Mum as well. I'll have a new project starting that I've always wanted to do which will give me and my brain something else to think about and focus on as well as my recovery. I'm also learning a new skill this year to indulge the nerd within me by learning something new and interesting, and I'm excited!

Despite though all of these positive and hopeful plans and changes, I'm not going into this blindly optimistic, assuming that nothing is going to go wrong and I'll be able to just get on with it and do it all because, yeeeaaahh, that's not going to happen. I'm probably going to struggle adding more to my days, not just energetically but also, as per usual, by adding more things into my daily activities, it provides more chances for my OCD to yell at me and make me freak out about what I'm doing. There are going to be days when that yelling is stupidly loud and I'm going to want to hide under a blanket, and that's okay. There are going to be days when that voice is a faint buzzing in my ear, and that's okay. There are going to be days where I'm going to yell back at the voice just as equally, or even more, louder, and that's okay! Bad days are going to happen, I'll treat myself kindly, with patience and compassion, and I'll get through it. I'll find and figure out a balance on when to push through and when to take a step back and relax. I've got this. 💜

This year, I want you to know that if you’re dreading the new year or more scared and apprehensive then excited for what lies ahead but still want the best to happen? Put your best foot forward! It doesn’t have to be perfect, it doesn’t have be meticulously thought out, it just has to be. Want to get better at brushing your teeth daily? Try brushing them once a day at whatever time is easiest for you. Difficulty in keeping the house clean? Timetable a specific day each week dedicated to it. Or set aside 5-10 minutes every day to freshen up your living areas. It doesn’t have to be perfect and “as seen on TV”, it just has to be liveable and comfortable for you. Struggling to gain motivation to do anything? Just start it, like I just said, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Normally, when putting my mind to something, I’ve found that the main thing that holds me back and suck my motivation for it out of me, is just the lead up to it, the momentum to the actual task or thing that I’m doing, making sure everything is “just right” for me to start. Spoiler alert, “just right” normally doesn’t happen. Something can always come up and be seen as a genuine reason to hold off on doing something or to try something differently, just give it a go and polish it along the way or come back to it. Simply just start.

Last year, 2023, damn. What an absolutely strange, massive, and goddamn tiring year! I don't know about you but last year was one of those, "What the heck is happening?!" years and "What the actual?! Look what I made it through and did!" years for me. I mean, like I said, at the beginning of the year, I couldn't be near my Mum, or go out without coming back and cleaning myself down to the point where I was probably sterile enough to go into surgery (and don't worry, I've seen all seasons of Grey's Anatomy, multiple times, I've got this! 🙌😂). Showering, skincare, brushing my teeth? Barely! Now I'm finishing the year by being able to hug my Mum (nearly whenever I want), I'm brushing my teeth and showing frequently, I'm doing my original skincare that I used to do years ago, and going outside is getting easier and I'm trying to make it more frequent to get my brain (and myself) used to it! 😱 If you had told me a year ago or two, that this is where I'd be, I wouldn't believe you, only in my wildest dreams would I be doing these things again!

So please know, wherever you are, whatever you're struggling with or want to do better with, or to heal from, you've got this, you can do it! It's not going to be easy and there are going to be multiple times where you're going to question why you're doing this and whether it's worth it but let me tell you something . . . It is worth it. It gets easier to deal with, and don't get me wrong, despite it being easier, it doesn't mean that it's not a struggle! You just gradually get better and more equipped with getting through or at least, trying your best and learning along the way, to manage it.

I know I've said this before but something more people should talk about is the fact that, recovery and healing aren't easy. It isn't just waking up and deciding to not let those things bother you any more, it's not just going about your day ignoring the bad and difficult things, it's about approaching each moment with the best intentions you can and getting through it, healing from it, learning from it, again, and again, and again until eventually you realise that you're doing it - you're doing better and feeling better.

Recovery, for me, has been so exhausting and has really pushed me but it's been so rewarding to see the growth and successes achieved recently due to the choices and changes I've made in my healing. 💜

If you're in any sort of recovery, or are trying to heal yourself from something or someone, or are learning to love yourself more, or if you're simply trying to do better, please stick with it and keep choosing you and what's best for you! You can do this! You've got this! Keep going! 💜

2023 was a tiring but good year! I was able to stand up and fight back against my demons, I've gained more independence and freedom from my OCD, and I've also acknowledged the areas that I still need to work on. I'm so incredibly proud of myself for everything that I did this past year! The growth I've made, the healing I've done, the confidence I've gained. I never thought I'd get back to this place where I am now and despite there still being a long way to go, I feel more hopeful for the future! 💜 Let's hope this new year is better . . . ! 🤞💜

For 2024, it's all about putting the best foot forward, and that doesn't have to be big! Having a drink of water, brushing your teeth  or simply going easy on yourself is putting your best foot forward because it's a more positive and helpful approach/thing to do then talking bad about or putting yourself down for something. Your best is always good enough and that "best," isn't pushing yourself to the brink to accomplish or complete something, this is something that I'm still learning.

I'm hopeful for the new year, not just for me, for you as well. I hope that things get easier, that we grow more confident and in love with ourselves, and I hope we create any boundaries that need to be made and stick by them (something that I'll personally be working on this year). You're worth it, whatever it is. Love, time, effort, energy, rest, success, hope, healing, growth. You're worth it and you deserve it! 💜

So 2024, Let's Party Some More! Last year, whether it was a good year, bad year, survival year, growth year, you made it and you've come out the other side! I hope this new year brings us love, hope, laughs, growth, healing, and restful times. Where we're going to stand up for ourselves, love ourselves, and we're not going to allow anyone else (including ourselves!) to make us feel like, "Hey Universe, Did You Forget About Me?" (And also, happy anniversary! 😉😂)

Please feel free to comment, share, and follow me on my socials below! 💜🌌

Thank you so much for reading - all the best! 💜

Emily 🌌

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(P.S. The chocolates didn't make it . . . 😂) 

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