I Will Never Forgive You

TRIGGER WARNING: Talks of death, dying, and hints of suicide. Reader discretion is advised!

In honour of OCD Awareness Week 2023 - keep fighting!

 "Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears." - Rudyard Kipling

 When I was a kid, I read that monsters hid under your bed or they were the creatures that creeped in the darkness, in the shadows of the night, never to be seen but always to be feared.

As a kid, I was taught not to go out late at night and to make sure the doors and windows were locked, that it keeps us safe, it keeps those monsters out. But what do you do if the monster is already inside your home? And not under your bed like the stories say but right in front of you? What do you do when it's within the child your mother fought so hard to keep alive? What do you do when you're living with the monster and when you look into the mirror you see it looking back at you?

I was first introduced to this monster at 11 years old, I was enjoying the novelties of being a kid until it became my roommate. What once were things I enjoyed doing became things that caused me stress and annoyance to my family. I will never forgive it for entering my life when it wasn't wanted and I will never forgive it for making me feel the same.

I will never forgive it for what it took from me. For being the monster that stopped me from sleeping at night, for being the monster that made me lash out at my family and myself, I will never forgive it for hurting me so badly that I didn't know if I would be able to feel anything else.

They say that by giving the monster a name and seeing it as something outside of yourself, as a separate thing, helps you to distinguish and direct the reasoning for the pain and discomfort from yourself to it, it reduces their terrifying nature. So here it is . . .

This particular monster is not a blood-sucking creature and it's not a monster that makes things go bump in the night. It's a monster that haunts over 1 million people in the UK alone. A monster that is wildly overlooked for not being as soul destroying as it actually is.

This monster's name is OCD.

And to OCD, I will never forgive you.

Because of you, I've had to watch my mind deteriorate. I've had to watch as I saw me not trust myself, to not believe myself, to not care for myself. To watch someone who cared so much for others slowly destroy herself by something others could not see. I had to watch as you made me spiral in on myself. I watched as you made me second guess every decision and thought I had or made. I saw you gradually make me fear everything and everyone. And I had to watch as you isolated the world through a peephole that gradually became smaller and smaller whilst all I could do was stand there, trying to get myself to keep breathing.

Because of you, I wished and begged for death. Because of you, I now know that mental illnesses can kill just like physical ones. Because of you I wondered whether the pain felt from relieving myself of you would be worse than the pain you inflict upon me day in and day out.

I have had to watch my body decay because of you. I saw it become cut, cracked, raw, sore, bleeding, dry, peeling, smell, discolour. And yet you forced me to carry on, you didn't let me rest, you didn't let me look after myself, you forced me to grit my teeth and carry on through the pain.

All I wanted was to ease the pain.

You say that you care and that you're keeping me safe, but the safest thing I can do is to cut your hold over my life. You made me feel like I'd never be touched by anything but the pain and discomfort that you bring. Like all I was worthy of was feeling horrible and untouchable.

So no, I will never forgive you, why should I? You have done nothing but nearly destroy me and my world. How much of that pain do you also inflict upon others is something that no one will be able to forgive and we surely won't forget. I will never forgive you for making me wonder if I'll make it out alive.

OCD is a disorder that has lied to me, stolen from me, and is unforgiving but now I’m the same to it. I will not forgive it for the years it took from me, I will not forgive it for the pain it caused me, I will not forgive it for the isolation I felt whilst being bullied and belittled by its existence.

But the thing with monsters and the stories that they are in is that there's always someone or something that helps defeat them, to rescue the person stuck inside. And what that is, is hope.

Hope is sometimes the only thing that gets me through each day, hope that tomorrow is another day closer to something better. And I would take that slightest ounce of hope over you any day. I will use that hope to sharpen my sword that I use to fight back against you. I will use that hope to support me when I need it. I will use that hope to light and guide my way out of the hell you kept me in.

They say that naming the monster takes its threat away. So to you, OCD, do like you did to me and go to hell. Go to hell and I'll see you there wondering, "Hey Universe! Did You Forget About Me?"

Thank you so much for reading!
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All the best!
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Emily
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©️ Hey Universe, Did You Forget About Me?, 2023, all rights reserved.

If you were affected by anything in this post or would like to learn more about OCD, then please head to these resources:

• OCD Action (UK) (www.ocdaction.org.uk)

• International OCD Foundation (www.iocdf.org)

• Alegra Kastens (@alegrakastens Instagram)

• Pure O Chrissie (@pureochrissie Instagram)

• Mind (UK) (www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/about-ocd/)

• NHS (UK) (www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/overview/)

• NOCD (www.treatmyocd.com)

• OCD-UK (UK) (www.ocduk.org)


(AN: The statistic of sufferer's of OCD comes from Royal College Of Psychiatrists: 
https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/mental-illnesses-and-mental-health-problems/obsessive-compulsive-disorder#:~:text=How%20common%20is%20OCD%3F,million%20people%20in%20the%20U.K)

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